Parrot
The parrot is a very beautiful bird. Some of them share the characteristics of human beings. In Urdu, for example, we call a shifty person ‘parrot-eyed’ that is someone who goes back on his word, when he has got what he wants. In their language, parrots have similar expression, and when they see a shifty parrot, they say: “What a human-eyed parrot he is”.
Parrots are very eloquent, but cannot speak for themselves. They just repeat what their master or feeder teaches them.
My dear elders! We also have no shortage of such parrots amongst us; sometimes listen carefully to what people are saying, and then try to imitate your teachers and cherishers.
There are several kinds of parrots: (a) the wild parrot, which lives in the wild; the domestic parrot; which lives in a cage; and the superfluous parrot, which lives neither in the wild nor in a cage. Every day, the question of its nationality is raised.
Dove
The dove is a very beautiful animal. It lives in towns, in forests and in the verse of Maulvi Ismail Merathi. In short, it lives everywhere. There are two major kinds of doves: the blue dove and the white dove. The overriding characteristic of the blue dove is that it is blue; whereas white doves are on the whole white. Prince Salim (who became the Emperor, Jahangir) used to have doves caught for Lady Mehunisa, when she was still Baby Nur Jahan, then she used to release them, and became the Queen of India. It is difficult to decide who gained the greatest benefit from this. Was it Prince Salim or Nur Jahan? Naturally, in those days the benefit of the common people was never taken into account.
In former times, people used to employ doves to carry their love-letters; this was very convenient. Later, the institution of the human postman came about, and it sometimes happened that the recipient of the letter, namely the beloved, would marry the postman and live happily ever after.
Crow
Every one has seen a crow. Its beak is black and its feathers are lack. It is found in every country in the world except Sough Africa and the southern states of America. There only white cows are allowed, and by chance such birds do not exist.
A crow is permissible meat for Muslims, but only in Agha Taqi’s garden.* I have heard that even in Karachi, you can get crow soup, and the people are very fond of drinking it. In concession to its colour, it is charged at black-market rates. In common parlance it is called chicken soup.
Note :
*Agha Taqi lived in Delhi during the 18th Century. His garden was a place where people used to gossip and waste time discussing unimportant matters. It is said that in the poor areas of Karachi crow’s meat is often substituted for chicken.
Quail
This is an animal which is very tasty to eat. There is a common belief that quails come willingly to the hands of blind people, and the idiom is used in Urdu to denote fortuitous luck. Sighted people, however, have great difficulty in catching them without the help of a net.
Centuries ago, quails were very gifted. One quail, by the name of “Smasher of the Ranks”, served a Nawab of Lucknow. He also used to say his prayers, calling Hoo Hak, which is the Arabic for ‘He is the Lord’. He was an expert in archery, and very good horseman as well. He also took opium. But in spite of all these fine qualities, one day a cat got him. Forty days of mourning were declared.
Partridge
The pure form of this animal is very rare. Usually those we find are half partridge and half quail. The partridge is a very intelligent bird. One day a Muslim priest, a greengrocer and a wrestler were traveling together. This sort of unlikely company is only possible in anecdotes. Anyway, they heard a partridge calling. The Maulvi said, “See what a fine bird it is! It is calling ‘Praise be to Thy Power.’ The greengrocer said, “No, it is saying: ‘Garlic, greens, ginger’.” Slapping his arm, the wrestler said, “My Lords! That is not so. It is saying, ‘Flex your muscles’.” An argument started, the argument led to blows, the blows led to an all-out fight. But it made no difference to the partridge.
Once there was a poet called Mu’arra, which in Arabic means ‘bald’. An admirer sent him a roast partridge. At once, he began to expound his philosophy, saying, “The punishment for the crime of weakness and old-age is sudden death.”
If we had been sent the partridge, we should have scoffed it up, or rather called for another plateful. But Mu’arra was a vegetarian, and did not eat meat. Even in those days, perhaps meat was twelve rupees a kilo. Not every vegetarian is the poet Mu’arra. Some just can’t afford to be otherwise.
Weaver Bird
Most people know the weaver bird only from its nest, which is very pendulous and long. The bird both lives in it and lays its eggs in it. The construction of the nest is thought to be most ingenious. These days our women make similar kind of nests, but they neither live in them nor lay their eggs in them. They just turn them inside down and put them on their heads.
Owl
In Urdu, the word ‘owl’ is used to denote a stupid person, and in our society it is very popular. Every day you hear someone calling another person an owl, or making an owl out of others. But you have never heard anyone calling someone a pigeon or a parrot. People regard owls as being very abstemious and disciplined, because the bird sits on the branch of a tree or in a cave with its eyes closed. If a small animal happens to pass by, it opens its mouth and swoops down on it. With us as well there are people who shut their eyes to all the problems of the world, but are never negligent about their food and drink. For this they receive great respect.
We use the word ‘owl’ in the sense of ‘stupid’, but in western literature it is an example of wisdom and learning. Nevertheless, we shall uphold our opinion. All we know is that wise, learned and clever people usually die hungry. But no one has ever seen an owl die of starvation.
Egret
See what a fine animal the egret is. It is a bird, which is found standing on one leg by every river bank, lost in worship, immersed in goodness. The divine light descends not only on its face but a little falls all around it on every side. Hindus refer to it as ‘the ascetic’,* and many Muslims also speak in praise of its belief. But frogs and fish do not share opinion, because they have a rather more intimate experience of this bird.
In former times, egrets had no organization. They used to stand by themselves in their own place waiting for their prey. But now they have proper unions. Organization is a very good thing. That is only my opinion. It is, however, not necessary for frogs and fish to agree with me.
It is very easy to catch an egret. Approach it from behind on tip-toe and drop wax in its eyes. When it goes blind, catch it. Nowadays, this method is used less for catching egrets than it is for dealing with the government.
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Note :
*The idiom bagla-bhagat ‘devotion of egrets’ means ‘to put on airs’, ‘to show off’.
Questions
1. Why does the partridge come to the hands of the blind?
2. Write an essay on the importance of doves to the Mughal dynasty. Write
on both sides of the paper; but leave the third side blank.
3. Have you ever sat on the dome of King Afrasiyab and played a drum-roll?
4. Don’t stare at me like a stupid owl. Give an appropriate answer.
A Lesson in Geography
The first thing that geography teaches us is that the world is round. At one time, it was certainly flat, but then it was established as being round. The great advantage of its being round is that people can set off the direction of the east and emerge in the west. This is most useful for smugglers and politicians. Hitler once more tried to flatten the earth but he did not succeed..
In olden times, the earth was stationary, and the sun and the sky used to revolve around it. Pets used to say:
By night and day the seven heav’ns revolve
And then a person y the name of Galileo came along and began to make the earth revolve around the sun. The priests were very angry that someone had put them in such a spin. By giving due punishment to Galileo, they put a stop to these sorts of movements, but even so they could not stop the Earth from rotating, and it still goes on moving in the same old way.
In the beginning, there were very few countries, and people lived in comparative peace and quiet. In the 15th century, Columbus discovered America. There are two theories concerning this. Some people are of the opinion that it was not his fault. He merely wanted to discover India, namely us. It was just a mistake that he discovered America instead. Weight lent to this theory by the fact that we have still not been discovered.
A second body of opinion says that, on the contrary, Columbus discovered America on purpose. Whatever the case may be, if it was a mistake, it was a grave one, Columbus is dead, but we are still suffering its consequences.
(From Urdu – The Final Book by Ibn-e-Insha, Translated by David Matthews,
Harper Collins, 1997)
