Tribute to the taproot of my life….

Ambika Ananth.

The fragrance of the festive season, the warmth of the spring, the new awakening in Nature- all speak about you in hushed tones in my soul. You were born on 'Ugadi'. A very special day for us. I remember how with a childlike special shine in your eyes you used to say "many people celebrate my birthday!" Yes daddy, it is wonderful to remember, yet at the same time too painful to plan your birthday, ‘as if’ you were here........

On one cold, rainy and murky day, few years back, you failed, battling for your life in the Intensive Care Unit, the drone of monitors drowning our sighs and sobs and the squeaks in your laboured breath. We were unable to imagine another day without you, when a hard adventure called LIFE stood staring at us and you were not in charge any more. Graduating us lovingly and caringly from infants to adults and suddenly disappearing before we really were ready to face adulthood, you cut off our vital strength to live life fuller and better.

Your obituary column read- “Senior IAS Officer aged 52, passed away with renal failure.” Fifty two is too young to die, at least he should have lived another ten years. They all said, your friends, our well wishers….

I wanted to shout, "Why only ten more years, we want him for ever" but I muffled my voice in choking sobs because you were in front of us, lying cold and still - gone forever. In that frightened understanding, I discovered a strong sadness in my being, which I am carrying even today.

Freud says we are supposed to grow out of father-love at about twelve. I don't want to, I never wanted to grow out of it, so here I am daddy, a grown woman with an eleven year old girl within, waiting to tell you that the mere thought of you fills me with self worth; waiting to tell you that love of a father can change many things for a daughter. It is terribly hard, snapping myself out of the sweet fantasy of you being around - a veteran guardian, a mighty soldier.

Happiness and joy should not be dependent upon external life they say, but surely they depend on the presence of someone like you. Why couldn't you have been immortal? The answer rings in me when I see you in full bloom in the young smiles of my sons, the genetic structure so obvious, you live on daddy, in me, in my children……. I fervently wish they have your strength, ability and the charm to ‘feel life…’ "The hammer shatters glass, but forges steel" goes a Russian proverb and to prove it, every outer blow made your inner man grow! For you, life was not just living, it was seeing listening and FEELING......

As years melt one into another, as the growing pains, inadequacies, cares and confusions of life abound, I still stand with the unshaken belief in the first lesson you taught us on living: "When God measures man, He puts the tape around his heart not his head."

Shri Vanakuru Narayana Rao, LLM, IAS

Born on April 6th, 1932 in Krishna Dist –AP, to V.Venkateswara Rao and Ranganayakamma, Narayana Rao had early education in Vijayawada. With great interest in Law, joined Delhi Law College and passed LLB and LLM; and joined as faculty there. He then appeared for IAS examination in 1956 and passed topping in International Law. Joined duty as sub-collector Tekkali, Srikakulam. Married Smt. Balatripura Sundari, daughter of Dr. Kasturi Sitapathi Rau of Machilipatnam and had four children –

Ambika Ananth, Journalist, Poet and Translator, B'lore.
V.S. Bhaskar IAS Secretary IT, Govt of Assam
Karuna Gopal, CEO, Confluence Consulting, HYD
Vasuprada Kartic , Counsellor and Psychotherapist, HYD


After serving the Government of AP for many years in senior posts, passed away in 1984 due to renal failure while in the position of Principal Secretary to Govt. He had great passion for books, friends and poetry. He was a much loved man…



Poems by V. Narayana Rao

The Race of Life

Every evening the miracle happens
The sun sinks down the western horizon
A ball of fire ... golden and crimson
The clouds take on the hues he imparts
The evening glows in magic fantasy
It is the story of life enacted everyday
The unostentatious rising at dawn
The race across the heavens..
the blaze of noon
and the crowning glory
the setting of the sun – the race of life run
and night settles down ... the darkness of the beyond
such is life ... an effort, now and forever
purposive, real and dutiful
for life must go on
to the greater glory of God..


Lovelorn

If thou art not, tell me, what is a thing of lovely
But first tell me what is to love
lonely lily, in thee, I see my reflected self
You love the world, too well to live in its dust
And weary of your lone existence you wither
So do I dream of severing these earthly ties …
Of nectar you are fed, you breathe in the pure winds
You are loved, yet you must needs die ...
Something invisible breathes into your lone self-
News of a garden where beauty reigns in joy divine
Despairing of your lovelorn existence
You leave the world unseen
submerged in the tears that thou hast shed :
The world knows but the solemn stillness
That records your fate ...